This Summer

This summer is looking like a whirlwind.

Not even two weeks ago, I got in touch with a high school friend of my brother’s. He does work with a group called The Boaz Project. They serve orphanages in Russia and India. Today I had a conference call with David (my brother’s friend) and the two founders of the organization: Jim and April Jurgensen. It was a fantastic conversation in which I managed not to ramble to much. At the end I was invited to go on a trip with them to Russia at the end of August.

This opportunity is huge. I have been dreaming of serving in Russia for years. It’s amazing how God has literally dropped this in my lap when I wasn’t looking. The timing of it all, the way that this fits me in so many areas, the fact that they have a trip available for me to join, so many things have fallen into place. David said in an email today that it is crazy, but it can only be the Lord at work. I am so overwhelmed by everything that is going on that I hardly know what to feel. There’s nervous anxiety–what if things don’t work out? There’s some dread–what if I discover my dreams really aren’t what God had planned or what I had hoped for? But over all this, there is excitement and trust.

Would you pray with me about this?

I need a visa–and I have a short time frame for that.

I need strength and energy as I am preparing not only for Russia but also 5 weeks in France prior to that.

I need God’s love and patience for those around me who may not understand why I am doing this. I want to treat them with honour and respect, but it can be difficult when it seems that people are putting their grimy toes on your dreams.

More than anything, please pray that I would be sensitive and obedient to God’s will in this.

more info? http://boazproject.org or email me.

 

I know, I broke a promise…

…I didn’t write a long list about what I learned last quarter. Instead, my spring break was spent eating delicious food, hanging with friends, sitting for about 6 hours in a window seat staring at the sun, baking (in a kitchen with no one hovering), and sorting through old baby clothes. It was reflective, relaxing and beautiful.

One thing I did explore over Spring Break was my heart towards some difficult people that God has placed in my life. I’m ashamed to admit that I am not hte most forgiving person. I think if I had space and distance, that would make it easier to let go and move on. Unfortunately, at college, there’s no such things as space. Everyone seems to be walking in and out of my life each day with no reprieve. I’m learning what it means to love generously even when it takes up my precious time and how to let go of things that have hurt me (and love that person tangibly in the middle of that process). It isn’t easy.

I joined a “community group” at our church recently. On Monday night I talked to the leader for a long time and he said some things that I needed to hear. I almost started crying, and I’ve known the man barely over a week! It was amazing the amount that God said to me through him, and he didn’t even realize it.

This quarter, I’m also applying for jobs. I have to figure out my life now, which is both exciting and daunting. Right now I’m hoping to return to Colorado. I realized over Spring Break how much I miss it. I never have thought of anywhere as “home” until two weeks ago when I stepped off the plane and marched cheerfully to the train. I giggled at the sunshine pouring in the huge windows of DIA, and I think I clapped my hands in the car for joy over the wide open spaces. But at the same time, I am being open to where else God might take me. I’m looking forward to eagerly finding out whatever plan he has–Idaho, Colorado, Oregon–wherever and whatever! Maybe it’s the sunshine and the flowers in bloom and the trees blossoming: I have rarely felt more optimistic in my life.

 

Soto Ayam and Bapak Wally

Last night I went down to Kent with Twaan. It was good, despite the mishap of getting lost and me being really angry with Twaan’s mad back seat driving skills. He was just trying to be helpful, becuase sometimes I get stressed in traffic (in an unfamiliar, borrowed car). But it had the opposite effect. Not to mention I have just been grumpy for the last 5 days, at least.

But Kent, Kent itself was wonderful. We went to see Indo people. I met Uncle Wally for the first time. We were headed for the back door, and Uncle Wally threw open the front door, calling “Tony!” We made a hard left turn, marched up the steps and straight into the arms of the most famous missionary I know. He gave me a hug, even though we hadn’t met yet. He said he feels like he already knows me, he’s heard so much from Barb (anthony’s mom). And then we went inside to join at least thirty other people eating Soto Ayam, drinking some koolaid-punch-beverage, and sitting or standing all over the house.

This is what I love about the Indo people. We were half an hour late, and Wally ignored my apology as though it had never occurred to him. People smiled and shook my hand, people hugged me and knew who I was, and some of them were excited to meet me. There was so much food, and it was still coming off the stove. There were greetings in other languages, and kisses and lots of laughter. It was like one big happy family reunion.

Except, it wasn’t just like a reunion. It was a family coming back together, even though we didn’t know half of them and some hadn’t been seen for years. This is why I miss missionaries. Because I miss having family and feeling at home in a place I’ve never been.

 

solar powered

I haven’t updated in a while. It’s been a crazy crazy quarter. I am taking less credits, with more work than ever before. It’s been good though, I have learned so much. I am growing a good deal, though it doesn’t always feel like it. There are little things that God is changing in my life, and I think that I will be able to see them more fully over time time during break or even beyond.

The sun is out today in Seattle, it’s one of the few times I don’t regret coming to school here. The sunshine reminds me of freshman year, Ed/Min with Dr. Smyth and laying on the green Demarray lawn while pretending to do homework. It reminds me of the times at Gasworks, and dancing in the Loop, the clouds at Marshall, Wednesday night Rendevouz and so much more.

I’m listening to David Crowder, and I should be working on a paper. But I can’t focus right now. I can’t seem to stay on topic, I can’t think of what to say about Brad’s music and John Wesley. There’s so much to say, and yet, it’s all been said in the simple lyrics. I am wishing and wishing that I could do justice to his words, but instead I am distracted by the guy in the green shirt in Martin Square. He keeps checking his cell phone, and he has a funny black and red bag on the ground below the bench that is bathed in sunlight. Earlier it seemed the whole of campus had descended on Martin Square below me. There was Molly and the boy talking to her was the same one that flirted outrageously with Leah last year. Emily was there, wearing the unecessary red jacket, and the red hat that didn’t quite match crowned her black hair. Yikwa was sitting there with his laptop, his timbuktu bag still slung over his shoulder, covering his waist. He is probably working on the same paper as me.

But now I’m watching Lindsey walk away with Molly. I don’t know when Lindsey in her bright yellow sweater arrived on the warm bricks set in such a confusing pattern. And now Yikwa has picked up his cellphone, checked the time, closes his laptop, stands, adjusts his timbuktu, and grabs the laptop in one hand, then waddles away. And the boy with the bright green shirt, short sleeved despite the faint chill; the one wearing the funny brown hat that makes him look Russian or Mongol; he has slung his odd red and black backpack over his shoulder, checked his cell phone one last time, and he has moved from my line of vision.

ah the windows in the third floor of the library.

so entirely distracting.

but Wesley is calling…

 

It’s a New Year!

Hello out there!

It’s a New Year, and my computer is running slower than ever.

Break was wonderful, I spent most of it in Colorado, but about a week was spent with Anthony’s family traveling around the Northwest. It was so great and relaxing–just what my heart and mind needed. I certianly wasn’t ready to come back to university and start back up with classes and homework again.

Colorado was a time of real healing and confirmation in a lot of ways. I was supposed to work a bunch, but that ended up not working out, for various reasons. Obviously, God wanted me to take a break, and learn to trust him to provide for my needs financially. I had a lot of time to knit, read books, drink lots of hot chocolate, and just spend time with my family. It was exactly what I needed, and I didn’t even realize it. I love my parents even more than I already did, and I realize how blessed I am to have such a good relationship with both of them.

The Northwest was a lot more activity, but still very good. Anthony and I had some time to ourselves, usually on walks or drives through the cute downtown of the area we stayed. But we also had a lot of time with all of his family, and that was good too. Plenty of card games, some Wii fit, and movies all made for a really good time getting to know people better.

Overall, the people I spent break with meant a lot to me. They were incredibly affirming, something I didn’t realize I was lacking in until four weeks ago. It was a huge blessing to be surrounded by people who cared about me, and to be encouraged a lot in my relationship with Anthony–it can be awkward being the only couple in our group of friends.

I don’t have much else to say. I’m back at the grindstone. I’m researching again this quarter, taking a heavy load, mentoring for a freshmen class, and trying to maintain relationships even as I’m prepping for graduation this year. break was a very encouraging time, a really boost which I think I needed to get me through the next couple of quarters.

I love you all. I hope that your New Year is full of blessings and laughter.

sara

 

The lights of ballard, fremont and wallingford

are all outside my window.

I haven’t much to say. Portland was fun. We stayed with Caleb and Kat and helped them pack up. And then we moved them in to Jared and Teresa’s. These are the kinds of people that I love. Jared and Teresa have taken Kat and Caleb in for a few months. Then, Josh and Jonathon are in between leases so they have moved in for 10 days. Jana is coming to visit in a couple weeks, and of course, Twaan and I will be back down for that.

All the while Teresa makes chocolate dipped strawberries in the kitchen and delicious chocolate chip scones. I even get scolded for doing dishes.

This is generosity. And hospitality.

Classes started up a couple days ago. It’s been okay. I like them all, it’s just a really random mix. My Marxism class is a strange group of philosophy, sociology, psych, sociology, latin american studies, business, and, oh yeah, the token polisci majors. Like me. What? How did that happen?

Tonight I had an “intense dark mocha” with a shot of hazelnut. Twaan brought it to me, after I called him. I was having a bad night, and my wonderful pacar came all the way down the hill to me. He took me to the canal, gave me delicious coffee from Tully’s and sat with me as we watched a tug boat push a barge down through the black water.

Now it is late. Nick just left, after a nearly completed crossword. I’m listening to Celtic music, and the sound of Kelsie texting. And I can see all of ballard, the canal, fremont, and wallingford from our windows. Today is a better day. Or a better night, after a rollercoaster day.

Thanks to Jesus.

Thanks to Twaan.

(And thanks to Will, and his delicious mochas…)

 

You Know? I kind of like the exercise-ball-as-chair-phenomenon

It’s true. It’s starting to grow on me. Not to mention all these nifty exercises that Kelsie taught me. Which is handy, because my normal situps just weren’t hurting enough recently. But these moves on the exercise ball, well, they really help me satiate my masochistic tendencies. Ha.

Anyway. Nothing to say, I’m just really trying to make good on the promise to update. I’m thinking that once classes actually start, I will probably only post once a week. None of this three posts a week nonesense. That simply won’t do when I have things going on other grocery shopping and a million emails for MuKappa.

I’m leaving tomorrow for Portland/Vancouver. I”m excited, but also really nervous. Would you mind praying? I’m nervous for lots of reasons. A. I’m always a bit nervous about new modes of transportation. I’m taking the bus to meet Twaan before we catch the train down. I’ll just feel better once I meet up with him downtown. B. I’m nervous to spend this much concentrated time with all of Twaan’s friends. Granted, I actually know two of them from Colorado–but those are actually the ones who make me most nervous. C. I’ve been doing much better lately at this whole relationship thing, but I still have moments where I freak out about commitment and long term things. I feel like this being the third trip to Portland/Vancouver says something about me being committed. Don’t get me wrong–I am. But things in the future still make me nervous. (Like: oh my gosh. I have to get a job and be responsible and be on my own this time next year. hello? this realization=terrifying)

so if you’ll pray that God would just give me peace and encouragement for all these things, that would be great. We’ve been doing pretty good, me and God. I’m more trusting lately, and I don’t freak as much. But still. I have moments. (I guess we all do, though)

 

It’s Raining Today…

…for the first time since I came back to Seattle two and a half weeks ago. It’s the nice drizzle that I like about Seattle. I walked home from housesitting last night, with only a brown sweater over my blue Henley. I got back to the apartment, my jeans soaked all the way up three inches from the ground, but the rest of me was pretty dry. That’s one of the wonderful things about Seattle rain. I didn’t own a raincoat until an awesome sale took place this summer, and yet, I’ve lived in Seattle for two years! Two years and no raincoat.

I’m sitting here now, at my secretary which we affectionately named Rhonda earlier this week. Instead of a chair I’m using Kelsie’s exercise ball which was recently pumped up. Supposedly this is going to give me better posture or a strong back. Right now I just feel a little sore from not having anything to lean up against. I have a steaming mug of Indo tea with far too much sugar in it. Cars are racing along the street below our apartment, the noise is softened today by the wet pavement. The whole sky is grey and there’s a sort of fog in the air, the kind that makes the whole world lazy and sleepy.

I think I’ll make soup for dinner tonight.

On Thursday I went to Fred Meyer with Anna and August. On the way home, we passed this long row of blackberry bushes, with no obvious owners (they were attached to a fence that enclosed a business which sells different kinds of landscaping/rock/pavement materials). Anna emptied her Fred Meyer bag in to her back pack and we started picking. WE estimate we got 2 pounds of fresh blackberries—for free! It was wonderful. We trudged back home with sticky red fingers, and later that evening we had people over for desert: blackberry tarts. Several rounds of catch phrase later, and we still have a lot of blackberries, and left over custard. I think we’ll have people over again soon.

There isn’t much else to say. It’s a lazy, quiet day in the neighborhood. There’s still steam coming off my tea, wafting up into the open room before disappearing into the chill air of our apartment. Anna is reading a book in the chair behind me. I think I might do that as well.

Ciao mes amies

 

Portland… Vancouver… that place on the border

Look, updating! I’m trying to make good on that promise!

Next week Twaan and I are going to Portland/Vancouver. We have friends that live down there. Jared and Teresa, who we’ll probably be staying with. And Caleb and Kat who we might help move depending on when exactly we do go down.

Vancouver/Portland is home to a lot of the missionaries from Indonesia. From Jared and Caleb as MK’s, to the Pust family, it’s like going down to see Twaan’s extended family. It’s feels even more so that way since the adults get called Aunt and Uncle. In Indonesia, it’s a sign of respect, and the missionaries adopted it.

I think we are (hopefully) going to hike Multnomah Falls. I’m looking forward to it. I saw it when we drove past in June on our way to Idaho. Even such a short glimpse was enough to make an impression, I love waterfalls, and these looked really pretty. It’s only a 1.2 mile hike, but we can go the extra 6 to the top of the “mountain.” We’ll see. I haven’t run since I’ve been back to Seattle, so I’m not sure how I’ll be feeling about 7.2 miles. (And now that I think of it, that might be one way too…)

Today is nothing exciting. If you are out there and you read this, please pray for me. There are three of us living in the apartment now, and it’s hard to not have someone feeling left out. Usually, it ends up being me. It’s actually quite exasperating, because these are two of my really good friends. But we just don’t always do very well as a threesome. Drives me nuts when I want this to work so well.

blessings.

oh! PS! I wrote a whole two paragraphs today! WOOHOO. I hadn’t written anything since June before today.

 

Oh My.

I haven’t updated in quite a while. Not since January. and it’s September. I’m about to embark on a whole new school year. I’ve completely forgotten about this blog. I don’t know that anyone even reads it anymore.

Hm. I think, maybe this year, I will try to be a better updater. Here are some basic things going on right now though.

Classes start on the 29th of this month. That’s really far away, and yet right around the corner. I’ve been back in Seattle moving in to the apartment for about a week. I still have a couple more boxes to get from random people, and my couch as well, but I have mostly moved in just about everything I own in the SEattle area. It’s been interesting. Kelsie was already here, and I feel like I have moved in to someone else’s home in someways. Anna comes tonight, and Caitlin just before school starts again. I’m sure it will feel the same for them. But One can never say exactly what anyone else is feeling. (Half the time I don’t know what I’m feeling.)

I’m president MuKappa this year–it’s the club on campus for MK’s (missionary kids). I’m excited for it. It’s going to be a great ministry. The club is going to meet at our apartment each Sunday night for dinner and hang out. I’m so excited to get to know the girls (and guys too). We’re having a girl’s small group made up of MuKappa people also, and I think that will be fantastic.

Twaan and I are still dating. Which is amazing after the hellacious year and summer that I’ve been through. I feel like some of the original passion has died down, but I also think that’s normal. I appreciate our relationship in quieter (but no less important) ways now. I appreciate having someone to just be with, and not have to always be doing something, or feel the need for activity. Last night we finished a movie, walked back to my apartment where he collapsed on my couch while I had tea and sat beside him. And it was probably one of the nicest nights since I’ve been back.

Other than that, life goes on, much as it always has. I’m tired today, because I walked up to Safeway and walked down with a whole bunch of groceries (if you live in Seattle or know Queen Anne you can understand that it is a bit of a hike to the grocery from Nickerson Street). Tonight I am going to make sloppy joes, see a friend, welcome Anna home, and just hang out. Very cowish (to those who understand that). Very lovely.

love and blessings